I think it’s important to highlight (in my opinion) that women rivalry, women pitted against each other is the making of men. A great example is the series Mad Men, where women are struggling to “make it” in the business world and are left competing against each other. Great read Carré x
Once again so well written, thank you so much for that! It hurts, that topic. As a fellow millennial girl this is just exactly what I feel. And it is true, it does not matter where you are or what you do, it is everywhere. My last boss even admitted he tried to pit my colleague and me against each other when I asked him if that is what he tries to do and that I would prefer him to stop that (we were the only females in the company at that time) - but he said he does it cause he thinks then we "perform" better...and unfortunately my colleague played along trying to impress him to secure her position. Luckily another girl came some time later and she was a real girls girl. It is worth so much when women support each other. But I was the same...in my 20s...thinking men are so uncomplicated and I just "get along better with them" and so on. How wrong I was, but it was the culture I grew up in, we grew up in.
So glad you have a good posse around you now Carre, after all that crap you’ve been through! Having finally watched The Substance on my long flight home I have been thinking a lot about internalised misogyny masquerading as feminism… that’s kinda what I felt it was at the end of that movie, it made me really sad.
The music business shows what happens when an environment is unbalanced and takes male behavior to the extreme. I've been the only woman in male teams and experienced it there as well.
I'm sorry you went through that lack of female support, not to mention poor female role models, growing up and in your career. You seem to be on the right track now.
I think we need to create women-focused structures and events if men won't create space for us. Soon they'll be begging to join us, guaranteed!
Its a man's world and we just fight in it. Thank you for this article from a woman who has struggled a her life against so many things not least of which the curse of not being attractive.
Divide & Conquer...the oldest, most effective tactic to maintain power. Racially I identify with a bit of the struggle you've had. "Your Skin folk aren't necessarily your Kinfolk", as they say. Anyway, another insightful and well written piece. Thank you.
This of course isn't just true of women, but of all oppressed groups, whether social, genetic, political, whatever.
Our power is always when we are united and I wish the walls of structured, defensive oppression could be seen for being as fragile as they really are by everyone who matters.
Yep. Living with this in my family life and in life in general. I'm still not sure what sisterhood really means. I have to understand it it from within, first. Lots to reflect on here.
I laughed out loud at "that's a lot of dicks" -- but the whole piece made me think about my own career in advertising, and how many women stood up for me. That allowed me to thrive and inspired me to support and promote other women. But with the toxic dickheads now in power I think we're back in the weeds -- just hoping women can unite and try to protect ourselves and our country from the dark things they're planning for us. I'm so glad you have women friends you trust and can rely on!
it's still something I feel like I have to fight against internally, even as I openly tell my coworkers to stop saying shit like "raising boys is so much easier" and "girls are so gossipy and mean".
I think it’s important to highlight (in my opinion) that women rivalry, women pitted against each other is the making of men. A great example is the series Mad Men, where women are struggling to “make it” in the business world and are left competing against each other. Great read Carré x
Amen, sister! Sharing.
Once again so well written, thank you so much for that! It hurts, that topic. As a fellow millennial girl this is just exactly what I feel. And it is true, it does not matter where you are or what you do, it is everywhere. My last boss even admitted he tried to pit my colleague and me against each other when I asked him if that is what he tries to do and that I would prefer him to stop that (we were the only females in the company at that time) - but he said he does it cause he thinks then we "perform" better...and unfortunately my colleague played along trying to impress him to secure her position. Luckily another girl came some time later and she was a real girls girl. It is worth so much when women support each other. But I was the same...in my 20s...thinking men are so uncomplicated and I just "get along better with them" and so on. How wrong I was, but it was the culture I grew up in, we grew up in.
So glad you have a good posse around you now Carre, after all that crap you’ve been through! Having finally watched The Substance on my long flight home I have been thinking a lot about internalised misogyny masquerading as feminism… that’s kinda what I felt it was at the end of that movie, it made me really sad.
Agree totally, we need to support one another!
The music business shows what happens when an environment is unbalanced and takes male behavior to the extreme. I've been the only woman in male teams and experienced it there as well.
I'm sorry you went through that lack of female support, not to mention poor female role models, growing up and in your career. You seem to be on the right track now.
I think we need to create women-focused structures and events if men won't create space for us. Soon they'll be begging to join us, guaranteed!
On behalf of my wife, my 2 daughters and all my female friends…thank you for this wonderful post Carré.
Things have got to change. X
Its a man's world and we just fight in it. Thank you for this article from a woman who has struggled a her life against so many things not least of which the curse of not being attractive.
💕🎵💕
Divide & Conquer...the oldest, most effective tactic to maintain power. Racially I identify with a bit of the struggle you've had. "Your Skin folk aren't necessarily your Kinfolk", as they say. Anyway, another insightful and well written piece. Thank you.
Finally someone else is said it, thank you Carre for your bravery in writing this article. I relate to the mother wounds as well. 💖💖💖
That last paragraph contains all the power...
"United" is where it's at or rather, needs to be.
This of course isn't just true of women, but of all oppressed groups, whether social, genetic, political, whatever.
Our power is always when we are united and I wish the walls of structured, defensive oppression could be seen for being as fragile as they really are by everyone who matters.
So many different revolutions are all needed.
I completely agree! Here in L.A., things can become very competitive! No holds barred!
👏📢🎯
Call it!
Yep. Living with this in my family life and in life in general. I'm still not sure what sisterhood really means. I have to understand it it from within, first. Lots to reflect on here.
I laughed out loud at "that's a lot of dicks" -- but the whole piece made me think about my own career in advertising, and how many women stood up for me. That allowed me to thrive and inspired me to support and promote other women. But with the toxic dickheads now in power I think we're back in the weeds -- just hoping women can unite and try to protect ourselves and our country from the dark things they're planning for us. I'm so glad you have women friends you trust and can rely on!
it's still something I feel like I have to fight against internally, even as I openly tell my coworkers to stop saying shit like "raising boys is so much easier" and "girls are so gossipy and mean".