I can relate. Love the old days playing in bands. Loudly. This has changed enormously. And although I truly miss the good old days (The Beatles were still a band when I was born) I understand that things change. Still playing guitar. Sometimes on stage. Sometimes on television (once in a couple of years). But not like in the good old days.
i really love going to shows like the one you played and described in this post. i mean, i have been to 150+ shows in my life, most loaded with a bunch of older dudes (like myself) either having a great time, judging the hell out of the band, or being completely oblivious because they are hammered. then i went with my wife and kids to a boygenius show and it was exhilarating and beautiful. the vibes were so different, and it was honestly one of the best shows i can remember seeing in a very long time in terms of the performance AND the the crowd. tears welled up in my eyes a few times during the show thinking how maybe my kids will be ok in this shit world after all... thanks again for sharing so much of your experience, Carré.
Thanks. I’m a big Suicide fan and I know Springsteen was really influenced by their music and you can hear it in that song. I’m releasing it on an EP next month with some other covers.
Oh grrrl, this is everything! Identified with so much of what you describe and I am possibly old enough to be your mother- this old guard of dudesicians dies hard. I wish I was at that show, because it sounds badass. Hear hear 🤘🏽
As always, another captivating and thought provoking read. Next time you are in Dallas, you have an official invitation for you and your boyfriend/crew to stay at our house. It is the least me and my wife can do to pay back what your art means to us.
Thanks again for sharing with such insight. Lovely.
And once again, you strike a chord in my own thinking. I remember, going to a gig with a Swedish hard-core/punk-act, something like 20 years ago, at the Fucking North Pole Ska and Punk Festival. Good times. Anyway, they were just 2 dudes ripping guitar and bass, one of them singing (screaming/growling/whatever), backed by their trusty MacBook for drums etc. And I vividly remember LOVING their music, but I just couldn't let myself accept loving it, because their MASSIVE beats was digital and not played by an animal behind a drum-set.
Move 15 years and I was myself starting working on solo-music, and I was thinking of doing the same thing. Be just me, with my guitar and my voice, a lead-guitarist joining me, having the rest on backing, tracked from my PC, but people was all like "no, that's gonna look stupid, people want a proper band" etc, all the while going to sold-out shows with dj's playing songs directly from their Spotify-catalouge. Wtf?
And about the music industry... Now, I'm far away from being as well fotted in there as you are, but let me assure you, most of us DO NOT GIVE A FLYING F**K!!! about the performers gender etc. That's totally off the table. I have no idea at all of you being anything but QK on your albums. I have not knowledge of anyone but you on those records, neither in writing nor producing or playing any instruments. It's you. It's your music, and it's your image being portrayed in pictures, videos and in the music I hear. Love it. Keep on rocking!!
Top genres are pop, hiphop and DJ shit. None of those require live bands and even when they have them, they still have stuff on tracks. Also, as I said, most big, money making ROCK bands are faking a lot and playing to tracks too. Just because you have guitars onstage doesn't make you more authentic...At this point, it's dumb to lose money just for the sake of appearances/pride. If you're a small act getting paid $150/show, how can you split that in 5 ways between bandmates while also being able to pay for rehearsal rooms, rental gear, food, transport and lodging for everyone, etc, etc. It's just not possible. Even at $500/show, it's not possible. Just embrace the drum machine. Most drummers are dicks anyway.
I can't quite remember how I discovered you, but I have the feeling it is NIN related. I read about your name and was curious about you and listened to your work. Just like you, I roll my eyes when I read about you and TR is mentioned again and again (or your ex-husband) as if this is a reference of value. It always blow my mind that as a rock/punk/indie listener I can count on my hand the number of female artist I value. PJ Harvey (as one of them) is a revered artist, mostly by the music industry. She hasn't got half of the recognition she truly deserve. I don't really relate (or care) to pop female artists as their are generally overly formatted for commercial reasons. My bone with GenZ's appreciation of music is partly due to their focus on things that don't really matter (mainly looks). Courtney Love was right when she talked about Taylor Swift to say that regardless of her huge fame, she does not stand for anything, she doesn't have anything meaningful to say. It's almost as if female artists can't reach stardom by just being themselves, by being raw, breaking the mould. It really frustrates me.
Geezzz I just don't get all this Gen x , millennials stuff. Being an old fuck from Surrey 😂. But yeah even being a man. I find most men fucking intolerable 😂. I watch loads of small bands so much so I'm known as the bloke that goes to see bands no ones ever heard of 😳. But I've seen bass drums break, guitars shut down . Vocals non existent. They carry on for their art and for us the fans. I saw Electric Moon go on stage and announce fuck knows what we are gonna play but we got 45 minutes to fill. One of the best gigs I've ever been to. And your Friday gig in London. Is exactly what it's all about getting up there and just fucking doing your thing. And personally I can feel that when you play. It's that element of the unknown I don't give a shit if it's slightly out of tune. TBH probably wouldn't notice anyway. It's your persona I can feel. Real, authentic. I've seen you a few times and a gig you done at the Lexington 6 years ago is still with me. And without the band. You got enough in you to make it work. See you on the 21st
Also a GenX fella and a fan of QK. I was lucky enough to work in live touring through the 90s and rode the grunge / riot grrl boom professionally. Ultimately, touring burnt me out and I longed for my own bed too much. Inner strength is what got me to that point- it is also what will get you through your doubts now. Easier said than done, I know, but you got a certain vibe that I can see success in. I have been involved in some local music fests recently and see that same attitude in other, younger generations of live performers. I see far more love and support for female performers in the now than was ever present back then. I'm also seeing more strength in said artists. As much as it feels the patriarchy is stacked against you (because it is), things were worse back then, and way worse when my boomer parents were young. Anyway, strength to you sister. Believe in yourself, embrace the mistakes as authentic you and soldier on.
Wow, I'm sure you have a lot of crazy stories. Thanks for the reassurance and perspective. I know the ship is slowly being righted in many ways. Just in the last ten years, I've noticed a huge difference in online/audience/press treatment of women. A lot less hate and a lot more people standing up against mistreatment. I have pretty thick skin, I don't get knocked on my ass by people trolling me. It takes a lot to hurt my feelings. But, I get frustrated, disheartened and tired at times. Then again, I think of the women who paved the path for me and that keeps me soldiering on. Thanks for the kind words. XX
I just remembered one of the odder stories. 1995 - working as a stagehand for a large festival in Melbourne, I got tasked with finding a laundromat to clean the stage costumes for headliners Nine Inch Nails (I see you've toured with them). Trawled local suburbs and found nothing. Then, someone found that another building at the venue (Olympic Park) had washing machines down in the bowels. So I trot off and stand in front of a bank of washers while I listened to The Flaming Lips playing the floor above me. Quite surreal. And I got paid to do this...
I’ve been to 2 festivals this summer and loads of bands are now using backing tracks, laptops and pedals with no detriment to their performance….Bob Vylan, Soft Play, Jamie T, Sleaford Mods, Big Special to name a few. These were all high on the bill and while I’m mindful they are male bands there were plenty of female artists doing the same to packed out audiences. I know this only reinforces your point but I think times are changing. Misogyny sucks and will always dictate that men will seen to effect and normalise change even when they are late to the party.
My badly made point is you shouldn’t doubt yourself or your talent. Your onstage presence is mesmerising and for what it’s worth I don’t think you need a band. You are by far and away the best live performer I’ve seen. (Although The Hives are incredible live and a close 2nd😁)
I will try to move heaven and earth to see you in October…unfortunately life is getting in the way of living at the minute.
Enjoying catching up on your earlier posts. 🙂
I can relate. Love the old days playing in bands. Loudly. This has changed enormously. And although I truly miss the good old days (The Beatles were still a band when I was born) I understand that things change. Still playing guitar. Sometimes on stage. Sometimes on television (once in a couple of years). But not like in the good old days.
I try to adapt. Because things change.
Do what you like. Go for it.
Lol Quinton better behave 😂
Amazingly written. It really strikes me how all the artists in different arts are going through the exact same squeeze and struggle.
Happy you’re owning it ❤️
i really love going to shows like the one you played and described in this post. i mean, i have been to 150+ shows in my life, most loaded with a bunch of older dudes (like myself) either having a great time, judging the hell out of the band, or being completely oblivious because they are hammered. then i went with my wife and kids to a boygenius show and it was exhilarating and beautiful. the vibes were so different, and it was honestly one of the best shows i can remember seeing in a very long time in terms of the performance AND the the crowd. tears welled up in my eyes a few times during the show thinking how maybe my kids will be ok in this shit world after all... thanks again for sharing so much of your experience, Carré.
Props for doing “State Trooper”. Great song to cover
Thanks. I’m a big Suicide fan and I know Springsteen was really influenced by their music and you can hear it in that song. I’m releasing it on an EP next month with some other covers.
Very cool! I look forward to it! Love your newsletter
I liked that :) Keep smashing it girl :)
Yes! People crave a real connection and that's exactly what you gave them.
Oh grrrl, this is everything! Identified with so much of what you describe and I am possibly old enough to be your mother- this old guard of dudesicians dies hard. I wish I was at that show, because it sounds badass. Hear hear 🤘🏽
As always, another captivating and thought provoking read. Next time you are in Dallas, you have an official invitation for you and your boyfriend/crew to stay at our house. It is the least me and my wife can do to pay back what your art means to us.
Hope you are having a fantastic day!
Thank you! See you (someday) in Dallas (at your house)! XX
Oh I've just found out I just fit into Gen x 1966. Oh well still means fuck all to me.😂
it's okay. just because i like some gen z girls doesn't mean i dislike all gen x dudes.
Thanks again for sharing with such insight. Lovely.
And once again, you strike a chord in my own thinking. I remember, going to a gig with a Swedish hard-core/punk-act, something like 20 years ago, at the Fucking North Pole Ska and Punk Festival. Good times. Anyway, they were just 2 dudes ripping guitar and bass, one of them singing (screaming/growling/whatever), backed by their trusty MacBook for drums etc. And I vividly remember LOVING their music, but I just couldn't let myself accept loving it, because their MASSIVE beats was digital and not played by an animal behind a drum-set.
Move 15 years and I was myself starting working on solo-music, and I was thinking of doing the same thing. Be just me, with my guitar and my voice, a lead-guitarist joining me, having the rest on backing, tracked from my PC, but people was all like "no, that's gonna look stupid, people want a proper band" etc, all the while going to sold-out shows with dj's playing songs directly from their Spotify-catalouge. Wtf?
And about the music industry... Now, I'm far away from being as well fotted in there as you are, but let me assure you, most of us DO NOT GIVE A FLYING F**K!!! about the performers gender etc. That's totally off the table. I have no idea at all of you being anything but QK on your albums. I have not knowledge of anyone but you on those records, neither in writing nor producing or playing any instruments. It's you. It's your music, and it's your image being portrayed in pictures, videos and in the music I hear. Love it. Keep on rocking!!
Again, thanks for sharing.
Top genres are pop, hiphop and DJ shit. None of those require live bands and even when they have them, they still have stuff on tracks. Also, as I said, most big, money making ROCK bands are faking a lot and playing to tracks too. Just because you have guitars onstage doesn't make you more authentic...At this point, it's dumb to lose money just for the sake of appearances/pride. If you're a small act getting paid $150/show, how can you split that in 5 ways between bandmates while also being able to pay for rehearsal rooms, rental gear, food, transport and lodging for everyone, etc, etc. It's just not possible. Even at $500/show, it's not possible. Just embrace the drum machine. Most drummers are dicks anyway.
I can't quite remember how I discovered you, but I have the feeling it is NIN related. I read about your name and was curious about you and listened to your work. Just like you, I roll my eyes when I read about you and TR is mentioned again and again (or your ex-husband) as if this is a reference of value. It always blow my mind that as a rock/punk/indie listener I can count on my hand the number of female artist I value. PJ Harvey (as one of them) is a revered artist, mostly by the music industry. She hasn't got half of the recognition she truly deserve. I don't really relate (or care) to pop female artists as their are generally overly formatted for commercial reasons. My bone with GenZ's appreciation of music is partly due to their focus on things that don't really matter (mainly looks). Courtney Love was right when she talked about Taylor Swift to say that regardless of her huge fame, she does not stand for anything, she doesn't have anything meaningful to say. It's almost as if female artists can't reach stardom by just being themselves, by being raw, breaking the mould. It really frustrates me.
Geezzz I just don't get all this Gen x , millennials stuff. Being an old fuck from Surrey 😂. But yeah even being a man. I find most men fucking intolerable 😂. I watch loads of small bands so much so I'm known as the bloke that goes to see bands no ones ever heard of 😳. But I've seen bass drums break, guitars shut down . Vocals non existent. They carry on for their art and for us the fans. I saw Electric Moon go on stage and announce fuck knows what we are gonna play but we got 45 minutes to fill. One of the best gigs I've ever been to. And your Friday gig in London. Is exactly what it's all about getting up there and just fucking doing your thing. And personally I can feel that when you play. It's that element of the unknown I don't give a shit if it's slightly out of tune. TBH probably wouldn't notice anyway. It's your persona I can feel. Real, authentic. I've seen you a few times and a gig you done at the Lexington 6 years ago is still with me. And without the band. You got enough in you to make it work. See you on the 21st
stumbling upon this post might have changed my life. thank you.
Thank YOU
Also a GenX fella and a fan of QK. I was lucky enough to work in live touring through the 90s and rode the grunge / riot grrl boom professionally. Ultimately, touring burnt me out and I longed for my own bed too much. Inner strength is what got me to that point- it is also what will get you through your doubts now. Easier said than done, I know, but you got a certain vibe that I can see success in. I have been involved in some local music fests recently and see that same attitude in other, younger generations of live performers. I see far more love and support for female performers in the now than was ever present back then. I'm also seeing more strength in said artists. As much as it feels the patriarchy is stacked against you (because it is), things were worse back then, and way worse when my boomer parents were young. Anyway, strength to you sister. Believe in yourself, embrace the mistakes as authentic you and soldier on.
Wow, I'm sure you have a lot of crazy stories. Thanks for the reassurance and perspective. I know the ship is slowly being righted in many ways. Just in the last ten years, I've noticed a huge difference in online/audience/press treatment of women. A lot less hate and a lot more people standing up against mistreatment. I have pretty thick skin, I don't get knocked on my ass by people trolling me. It takes a lot to hurt my feelings. But, I get frustrated, disheartened and tired at times. Then again, I think of the women who paved the path for me and that keeps me soldiering on. Thanks for the kind words. XX
I just remembered one of the odder stories. 1995 - working as a stagehand for a large festival in Melbourne, I got tasked with finding a laundromat to clean the stage costumes for headliners Nine Inch Nails (I see you've toured with them). Trawled local suburbs and found nothing. Then, someone found that another building at the venue (Olympic Park) had washing machines down in the bowels. So I trot off and stand in front of a bank of washers while I listened to The Flaming Lips playing the floor above me. Quite surreal. And I got paid to do this...
Hi Carré.
A great open and honest read as usual.
I’ve been to 2 festivals this summer and loads of bands are now using backing tracks, laptops and pedals with no detriment to their performance….Bob Vylan, Soft Play, Jamie T, Sleaford Mods, Big Special to name a few. These were all high on the bill and while I’m mindful they are male bands there were plenty of female artists doing the same to packed out audiences. I know this only reinforces your point but I think times are changing. Misogyny sucks and will always dictate that men will seen to effect and normalise change even when they are late to the party.
My badly made point is you shouldn’t doubt yourself or your talent. Your onstage presence is mesmerising and for what it’s worth I don’t think you need a band. You are by far and away the best live performer I’ve seen. (Although The Hives are incredible live and a close 2nd😁)
I will try to move heaven and earth to see you in October…unfortunately life is getting in the way of living at the minute.
You're always so reassuring. Thank you. I've never seen the Hives live but I submitted to open for them earlier this year. They passed on me. Psssssh.
Missed you at the last shows. Hope to see you soon. Hang in there! XX
Oh my god…that would be my dream gig!!…and thank you. X