Hey, Dirtttayyy
Baby, I got your money, don't you worry $$$ An uncensored look into my brain in real time.
This week, I will publish my first pay-walled post about recently auditioning for The Smashing Pumpkins (a comedy of errors). I’m not paywalling it because I’m broke AF and need your money —which I am, but because I need to throw my paid subscribers a bone. If you want in on that bone, upgrade your subscription.
But, no worries if you don’t have cash to spare right now. There’s still plenty of free grub to feast on in my recently published posts:
Born Against Pt. 1 : How growing up in a nightclub and living in a hotel shaped me as a musician. Also, listen to my first recorded song...
Born Against Pt. 2 : Rock and roll, bad behavior and an Olympic size trampoline. That's my childhood in a nutshell and it prepared me well for what was to come: Hollywood.
What Does True Happiness Look Like? : Fuck if I know!
Why What How & The Jibber Jabber : Exploring my improvisational recording style and a preview of a new song.
I Lost My Voice, Have You Seen It Around? : I worry that my strong voice and opinions have petered out. I worry that I’ve petered out.
Things got heavy here last week, and things will get heavier soon. Not every post is going to be an easy read. After all, I’m not an easy person. Rest assured, it’s just as difficult for me to write about some of this stuff as it is for you to read about it. I try to pepper humor somewhere into each post to lighten the blows, but even my humor sometimes rubs people the wrong way. I get it. I know. So, before I go delving into cultural dumpster fires, gut-wrenching misogyny, inexplicable injustice, and abuse of power —aka HOLLYWOOD—let’s enjoy a palette cleanser:
Below is a list of some things running amok inside my brain at this very moment. Maybe they will serve as conversation starters. If anything resonates with you, please comment. If you want to share what’s on your mind, please do.
Felix Baumgartner. Remember him? He’s the guy who jumped to Earth from space, breaking the speed of sound. I watched it live in 2012 and cried. It really gave me the heebie jeebies. When I think about being alone in outer space, I start feeling overwhelmed with panic. My brain can’t take it. I like to think of myself as an adventurous person; however, if given the opportunity to go to space, I’d 100% say fuck no.
Baby name consultants. Yes, there is now such a thing. They get paid $295 per 5-minute session to provide personalized lists of special baby names, including: Tank, Orca, Dew, and Halo. Read more about it here, if you wanna puke in your mouth. I don’t know why this vexes me so much (because I’m a hater?), but the “rare baby name” movement almost makes me want to have a kid just so I can name him Gary. Or Dave. Or Bob. I know this is ironic coming from someone named Carré, but blame my parents for that poor decision. Anyway, if you are in need of a special baby name, I’ll gladly name your kid for you for free. Hit. Me. Up.
Side note: I just received an email reminding me that this fool is still in my phone and I immediately proceeded to Google…
will I ever grow up?? Is this a real book? If so, I need it in its physical form so I can use it as my life coach:
In the meantime, I am going to try to start reading this book by Martha Beck called, The Way of Integrity, that was recommended to me by a fellow artist. Have you read it? I’ve never read a self-help book because I’m a skeptical, curmudgeon. My favorite book is Blood Meridian, for fuck sake. But, I suppose I need all the help I can get…I’m trying to be more open to this kind of thing.
Speaking of Blood Meridian, a screen adaptation is in the works. I have a hard time imagining how anyone can adequately pull this off, but I’m hopeful because John Hillcoat (The Proposition, The Road, Lawless) is set to direct and he’s a badass. If you haven’t seen The Proposition, I highly recommend it. Nick Cave wrote the screenplay and scored the music, and Guy Pearce, Emily Watson, and Ray Winstone star.
If you didn’t catch the reference in the title of this post, please remind yourself of this gem.
That’s enough madness for now, I suppose…
c u next tuesday.
XX CARRÉ
I thought that link on baby name consultants would send me to The Onion. I was wrong.
Hate to say it but if the parents are too lazy to name their own kid or have so much disposable income to spend money on THAT, then they shouldn’t be having kids 😂 I laughed so hard then was bummed out when I realized I was reading The NY Times.