I am absolutely horrified that this happened to you in my city. I grew up in Detroit’s suburbs (moved back from Austin in 2021) and never saw that kind of horrific display of misogyny or jealousy.
That’s what it is. Jealousy.
And if Detroit’s musical leadership think it’s going to turn into a leading music destination by cutting down new community members, it’s got another thing coming.
I’m toying with the idea of asking the Recording Academy to start a local chapter here so we can have professional gatherings and shows that promote the kind of community that deserves the world’s attention as an innovative and welcoming city. Looks like we need it now more than ever. DM me if you want to chat more. I am here for you.
I was very unwelcome in Detroit, for the most part. However, I met a few of my best friends there. One played guitar in my band for years and she’s one of the best musicians I’ve ever played with. But she moved out of Detroit too. I got the feeling a lot of the “scene” there was shooting itself in the foot. The bitterness and feigned “pride” stifled growth, imo. I hear it’s a bit different now, but 🤷🏻♀️… glad there are people like you trying to right the ship though.
Oof. I don’t even know where to start with this one. I admire your strength for showing up to that horrible meeting. From the sound of it, it was always going to be a disaster, but you went and you stayed cool, calm, and collected. That’s so not easy to do.
Fuck that other band though. Really? Getting bent out of shape and making threats of violence and racist comments because of a photo? Of a woman? Who has had success in an area they’ll obviously never succeed in? Ffs. As another commenter said above, they (think they) want women to conform to certain standards but then they’re threatened by it.
I can remember this happening to you although I didn’t know the details…I was fuming for you then and it makes me angry now! Massive respect for having the fire in your belly to not back down.
I hope your abusers failed as a band and disappeared. X
Resorting to racist and sexists comments & statements is the lowest form of insults & easiest for the uneducated knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers out there.
The irony of being like, "women are worthless unless they're hot and young", but as soon as your sexuality rides along with your success they're like, "hey you can't do that!". Isn't that what you said you wanted? Make up y'all's mind. It's a trick and the only way out of it is being one of those women allowed in the room because they were critical of you. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Ugh. This makes me so angry. But I absolutely love that you sold t shirts with the image that they tried to “shame” you with (ignorant fuckers) you’re a fucking legend.
Carre - I’m (once again) moved to somewhere between tears and being utterly pissed off for you - I can’t believe this shit!! What a horrible way to be treated by “fellow musicians” and the “illiterati” (octogenarian scum) - I’m so sorry - I would have lost my shit - you dealt with it like the class act you are, rising above and being measured, which can’t have been easy but well done to you. I do hope that “band” are now resigned to the shit heap they deserve to be piled on. No excuse for racism. None. Fuckers
Question for your Q&A: I love Couples Only and it really reminds me of Vulnicura from Bjork not for its genre but for the 'post-break up' theme translated into very raw, fragile and honest lyrics. I know you don't write lyrics, that its almost improv writing. How do you get it to work? what is the process and did you have a blueprint before recording?
What a sad scene, but a good story and thanks for sharing. Here’s a possible option— cross the border to Windsor where in Ontario women’s breasts are legal and anywhere a man can show his, women have the same right according to Ontario’s human rights legislation. Hey boys, get over it.
These people are clearly intimidated by a talented and intelligent female who doesn’t need their accolades to have a successful career. Fragile is the small-town Midwesterner ego.
First off, so sorry this happened to you. But… I’ve played Detroit as an outsider (I hear “Outlander!” from Children of the Corn in my head as I read that back to myself) and I have to say I’m not the least bit surprised. First time, I was with a shitty metal band, and we got booked at the Pontiac Silverdome for “Harley Davidson Fest” to “open for ZZ Top.” As young 20-somethings, we took the gig, but only to play 2:00 p.m. in the parking lot on hot asphalt on a 90-degree August afternoon. We were denied bottled water and our female singer was harassed and shamed for visibly sweating, among other things. The second time I went back to that begotten hellhole for a “rave,” a friend’s car was broken into.
No love for Detroit, sorry.
As a side note, I’m from NE Ohio (Youngstown/Cleveland/Akron) and it’s no better, just lest prestigious and more pretentious.
Yeah, tbh, I guess I romanticized the Detroit music scene because of its history. But when I was there it was super bitter, unfriendly, unwelcoming, and misogynistic. I heard it has changed a bit but I have my doubts. I couldn’t believe how many people were so hung up and upset about Jack White making it big like they deserved it but he didn’t. So weird.
That’s about the sentiment I get from most places. If someone does make it out and find success, the resentment lingers for decades. Maybe it’s a Midwest thing. 🤔
What’s funny is I remember checking out the band’s music and thinking it was actually cool. I was like, I’d totally play a show with this band and talk them up and help promote them if they weren’t harassing me and being horrible, abusive, pieces of shit. 🙄
I'll never cease to be amazed at the depths some dig mining shit from the sewers of their insecurity to lob at those with the balls, or in your case, the tits, to put themselves out there.
Lawd have mercy you survive this stuff. You never cease to amaze me as well!!
This is nuts. Threatening and smearing another act on a festival bill should get you booted off, no questions asked. And obsessively reposting the abuse is pathological behaviour. No wonder Detroit is in such terminal decline.
I am absolutely horrified that this happened to you in my city. I grew up in Detroit’s suburbs (moved back from Austin in 2021) and never saw that kind of horrific display of misogyny or jealousy.
That’s what it is. Jealousy.
And if Detroit’s musical leadership think it’s going to turn into a leading music destination by cutting down new community members, it’s got another thing coming.
I’m toying with the idea of asking the Recording Academy to start a local chapter here so we can have professional gatherings and shows that promote the kind of community that deserves the world’s attention as an innovative and welcoming city. Looks like we need it now more than ever. DM me if you want to chat more. I am here for you.
I was very unwelcome in Detroit, for the most part. However, I met a few of my best friends there. One played guitar in my band for years and she’s one of the best musicians I’ve ever played with. But she moved out of Detroit too. I got the feeling a lot of the “scene” there was shooting itself in the foot. The bitterness and feigned “pride” stifled growth, imo. I hear it’s a bit different now, but 🤷🏻♀️… glad there are people like you trying to right the ship though.
Oof. I don’t even know where to start with this one. I admire your strength for showing up to that horrible meeting. From the sound of it, it was always going to be a disaster, but you went and you stayed cool, calm, and collected. That’s so not easy to do.
Fuck that other band though. Really? Getting bent out of shape and making threats of violence and racist comments because of a photo? Of a woman? Who has had success in an area they’ll obviously never succeed in? Ffs. As another commenter said above, they (think they) want women to conform to certain standards but then they’re threatened by it.
Carré you are one tough cookie!
I can remember this happening to you although I didn’t know the details…I was fuming for you then and it makes me angry now! Massive respect for having the fire in your belly to not back down.
I hope your abusers failed as a band and disappeared. X
Carre, very impressed by your guts not to get pushed around. That takes energy and will power, thanks for that
Resorting to racist and sexists comments & statements is the lowest form of insults & easiest for the uneducated knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers out there.
The irony of being like, "women are worthless unless they're hot and young", but as soon as your sexuality rides along with your success they're like, "hey you can't do that!". Isn't that what you said you wanted? Make up y'all's mind. It's a trick and the only way out of it is being one of those women allowed in the room because they were critical of you. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Exactly. The never win of the double standard.
Ugh. This makes me so angry. But I absolutely love that you sold t shirts with the image that they tried to “shame” you with (ignorant fuckers) you’re a fucking legend.
The Wannabe Rockstars Must Die
Carre - I’m (once again) moved to somewhere between tears and being utterly pissed off for you - I can’t believe this shit!! What a horrible way to be treated by “fellow musicians” and the “illiterati” (octogenarian scum) - I’m so sorry - I would have lost my shit - you dealt with it like the class act you are, rising above and being measured, which can’t have been easy but well done to you. I do hope that “band” are now resigned to the shit heap they deserve to be piled on. No excuse for racism. None. Fuckers
Question for your Q&A: I love Couples Only and it really reminds me of Vulnicura from Bjork not for its genre but for the 'post-break up' theme translated into very raw, fragile and honest lyrics. I know you don't write lyrics, that its almost improv writing. How do you get it to work? what is the process and did you have a blueprint before recording?
Great question, thanks! I’ll add it to the list!
What a sad scene, but a good story and thanks for sharing. Here’s a possible option— cross the border to Windsor where in Ontario women’s breasts are legal and anywhere a man can show his, women have the same right according to Ontario’s human rights legislation. Hey boys, get over it.
These people are clearly intimidated by a talented and intelligent female who doesn’t need their accolades to have a successful career. Fragile is the small-town Midwesterner ego.
First off, so sorry this happened to you. But… I’ve played Detroit as an outsider (I hear “Outlander!” from Children of the Corn in my head as I read that back to myself) and I have to say I’m not the least bit surprised. First time, I was with a shitty metal band, and we got booked at the Pontiac Silverdome for “Harley Davidson Fest” to “open for ZZ Top.” As young 20-somethings, we took the gig, but only to play 2:00 p.m. in the parking lot on hot asphalt on a 90-degree August afternoon. We were denied bottled water and our female singer was harassed and shamed for visibly sweating, among other things. The second time I went back to that begotten hellhole for a “rave,” a friend’s car was broken into.
No love for Detroit, sorry.
As a side note, I’m from NE Ohio (Youngstown/Cleveland/Akron) and it’s no better, just lest prestigious and more pretentious.
Yeah, tbh, I guess I romanticized the Detroit music scene because of its history. But when I was there it was super bitter, unfriendly, unwelcoming, and misogynistic. I heard it has changed a bit but I have my doubts. I couldn’t believe how many people were so hung up and upset about Jack White making it big like they deserved it but he didn’t. So weird.
That’s about the sentiment I get from most places. If someone does make it out and find success, the resentment lingers for decades. Maybe it’s a Midwest thing. 🤔
What’s funny is I remember checking out the band’s music and thinking it was actually cool. I was like, I’d totally play a show with this band and talk them up and help promote them if they weren’t harassing me and being horrible, abusive, pieces of shit. 🙄
I'll never cease to be amazed at the depths some dig mining shit from the sewers of their insecurity to lob at those with the balls, or in your case, the tits, to put themselves out there.
Lawd have mercy you survive this stuff. You never cease to amaze me as well!!
Words fail me. Oh my god Carre!
This is nuts. Threatening and smearing another act on a festival bill should get you booted off, no questions asked. And obsessively reposting the abuse is pathological behaviour. No wonder Detroit is in such terminal decline.
On a lighter note, the sideways pussy mythos reminded me of this... https://youtu.be/C6CY5itserg?si=m2lQ6ucKtvZhR8FT
I am sorry you went through that, and you handled it better than I ever could.