The Best Advice I Ever Got About Music—And the Worst

always unsolicited, usually comical, occasionally helpful

1. "You're nearly adequately avant-garde. You just need to get a friend onstage with you to beat a drum." — Courtney Taylor-Taylor (The Dandy Warhols)

   Nearly adequately avant-garde is an incredible phrase. I love Courtney because he's full of gems like this. And he's probably the only person on this planet who has ever told me that I'm a little too accessible. But don't worry, we can fix that! Just add a friend. Beating a drum. Not even necessarily on rhythm.

2. "Try making some hit singles." — A former booking agent

   A very constructive suggestion to make me more accessible. If only I’d cranked out a few Top 40 hits, he might have actually done his job.

3. "If you want to have a band, make sure it's not a democracy." — Trent Reznor

   Band democracy sounds great in theory, and I genuinely envy the rare few who make it work. But in reality, it usually means too many cooks in the kitchen—but the cooks are egomaniacal toddlers.

   

   me manifesting

4. "Manifest success." — All my LA friends

   I understand that positive thinking is important, but there are certain realities you simply cannot vision-board your way around. Like math. And capitalism.

5. "Keep doing it as long as it's fun." — A well-intentioned fan

   People think playing music is like an eternal summer camp—junk food, singalongs, and experimenting with drugs. They forget that it's also a job. And, like most jobs, it isn't always "fun." In fact, it’s often the opposite. It rarely pays, yet somehow requires you to work multiple full-time roles at once. You’re the artist, the influencer, the brand strategist, the PR team, and the overworked intern—all while churning out music and getting critiqued for it. No health care, no stability, no retirement plan, no paid overtime. Do we do it because it’s smart? No. Do we do it because it’s fun? No. We do it because…

6. "Playing music is not a choice. It's a need." — Roger O’Donnell (The Cure)

   This one slightly unnerves me because it's so true. I sometimes (every day) fantasize about quitting music and pivoting to something stable, like..data entry. But it never sticks. Making music isn't a choice; it's an affliction. Like a chronic illness. It’s in our bones. We need to make music in order to survive…yet pursuing it has stripped us of every other survival skill.

   

   Instagram story from my friend Izzy of Black Honey

7. "Go get an education, make use of your intellect, and get out of this industry while you still can." — A concerned high school teacher in Reno, Nevada, after the second show I opened for Nine Inch Nails

   Teenage me found this insulting and dismissive. I shrugged it off and likely rolled my eyes. Adult me thinks about this advice and kicks myself for not taking it more seriously.

8. "Better hurry up, your time is running out." — A William Morris executive

   Nothing like a powerful man in expensive loafers telling a 23-year-old woman she's on borrowed time. If only he saw me now. He'd be so impressed by my persistence, even in my old age.

   

9. "Never give up. The world needs artists." —A billionaire nepo baby

   Inspirational stuff. Thanks, man. I'll keep fighting the good fight while you do…whatever it is you do.

10. "The "music industry" is different from the "music business." You can succeed in the music business without being part of the industry. The "music business" is about making money, building an audience and exposing music. Making money on your own terms. Defining success on your own terms. And exposing your music in novel ways. —Scott Cohen (founder of The Orchard)

    As an artist, it's hard to not get caught up in the industry side of things. But what really matters is how you define success on your own terms.

    ---

    My unsolicited advice? Keep making cool shit.

    I can go on and on about how challenging it is to be an indie musician, writer, or artist right now, how we aren’t making enough money to cover basic necessities, how we’re burnt out and exhausted. It’s a mind fuck. But creating an echo chamber isn’t going to change anything. We can’t control trends, algorithms, AI takeovers, or Spotify. The one thing that is within our control is the art we create. So forget chasing virality, forget pandering to invisible tastemakers—just make something real and true to yourself. Something that you like. Don’t overthink it. Don’t get too precious. Just make cool shit. Then make more. We’re all going to die someday and the art you leave behind will be more important than any number of likes or followers.

What’s the most helpful/unhelpful/funny advice you’ve been given? Drop some wisdom in the comments.

c u next tuesday.

xx CARRÉ

PS: Took a break from the chat chain for a couple months, but I’m back now. Let’s go.